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Chronicles Of Corper Henry: ASABA Girls Don't Need Your Money For The Cookey

Before I came to Asaba, I have always been the guy who had entered every single relationship with a pack of Panadol extra because of the kind of headaches I was forced to put up with.

Back in Maiduguri during my university days, I fell head over heels in love with one dark Adamawa girl who I was ready to live and die for. I will trek the length and breadth of the school, under the scorching sun just to see her. Unfortunately, she sensed my undying love for her and ended up breaking my heart during the examination period. Up till today, I am yet to forgive her.

My love experience in Kano remains the worst till date that I came to a conclusion that I will have nothing to do with Sabon Gari girls anymore. The only language they seem to understand is money and ‘cat fish’. I remember how one Akwa Ibom girl looked at me from head to toe and told me to my very face that ‘who your love epp? Give me money joor’. Even after buying her wristwatch, she refused to have my time. But the romance atmosphere down here in Asaba is quite different. Finding true love in Asaba seems to be less complicated. The girls here are so loving that you might mistake them for Americans. They won’t put you through the rigorous tasks of toasting and chasing and buying ‘eshi-ewu’ and recharge cards for three weeks straight before they take you in. An average Asaba girl, will take you on a journey into her innermost secrets and give herself to you, body and soul without looking back. They don’t even want your money. They are contented with sharing your space, time and attention and with this kind of affections, you can’t help but purr from warm sweetness.

 Service year afforded me an opportunity to explore some of the many hidden treasures that God deposited in Asaba. And on three occasions, I have been pampered and spoiled with the kind of love that the sun has for mother earth. The kind of love that lights up the whole world!
And of all my adventures in the feminine world, I will never forget my romantic experience with Debby who I met inside a keke. Armed with a rose tattoo that spread down her left arm, a nose ring, four ear rings that ran across her ear, a leg chain and an enigmatic Briton accent, I was helplessly under her spell. It didn’t take long before we connected like electric cables and she illuminated my world. She would call me ‘Chinedu’ with a tone that nobody else has ever called me with. She would read my love poems and melt and with the way she smiled at me, I knew she meant it. She was the first girl to prepare banga soup and bring to my room and after I tasted it, sweet Jesus! I wanted to see her parents.

There are a good number of them who have gone out of their way to show me true love and in all sincerity, I have always had my mind blown away. Asaba girls are content to hold your hand and walk in the evenings, sharing your time, space and silence. Sure, just like every other girl, they treasured their recharge cards, perfumes and night ‘suya’, but since they have you, all the material things of the world seemed so immaterial. Few weeks ago, I met a girl in Asaba during my evening stroll who looked me in the eyes for five minutes, touched my elbow occasionally and finally told me that I made her feel very special again. Back in kano, they only time girls felt so special in my presence was when my wallet started to show itself frequently.


And that is why I decided to write this so that every guy out there will read and have a rethink about his purpose in love life. Asaba is the place to be for all the broken hearted out there who seek emotional healing and reassurance. These girls down here are super romantic. For all the guys tired of buying recharge cards and making hair, come down to Asaba and be treated like a king. You only have one life to live, don’t waste it in Kano, Port Harcourt and Lagos.